When the weather changes like they have done here lately, it is hard to keep my spirit positive. After the car accident, where they had to lift my face 9 mm, no matter how nice the metal they use, it still feels like a cold hammer banging around my left eye. Those days are hard to find the strength, the power and energy to do much, that's the days when i remind myself of how blessed i am. My wonderful kids, each and everyone of them with their own ways to be so precious and special, a wonderful "bestest" grandson and another one coming next year, my friends and family, and not to forget the horses, they all make me remember why it is worth getting out of my self pitty stage and do something.
But the on to hold my hand more then any, that always show me and tell me everything will be okay, is my rock Jack, thank you for being in my life and show me the way when i just wanna pull the blanket over my head and sleep through the pain.
LOVE YOU!!!!
Then i read, Paulo Coelho, he have the most wonderful ways to tell with words that we are our own best friend and worst enemy. We all have to make sure we live now, but at the same time dreams are so important, they make us go on, they push us to new limits and they give us a reason to get through the pain.
Dreams don't have to be big, dreams don't have to be something to change the world, they just have to be something that give us the need and want to move forward.
I have big dreams and small dreams, i even have dreams i know i never can reach, but for me i still have to try, at least i tried, and at least i allowed my self to reach for something and enjoying the road there. For me, after the car accident it is all about trying, because before you try you can never know what you are able to get accomplished. I was so lucky, being allowed to have a doctor that believed in rehabilitating around horses, being in the nature and learn to overcome my fear of trying and maybe failing.
I learned that without failing i learn nothing, nothing about myself and nothing about others. I also learned that it always is someone that is harder hit then what i am, someone is always more hurt, have more disabilities, less time to live, less movement, and less friends and family. Someone is always harder hit in their lifes then what i am and have been, so i am so grateful to be allowed to spend my time at the rehabilitation facility Beitostoelen Helsesport Senter, (Health Sport Center)
I met some wonderful kids, born with problems so enormous, but still they tried and worked so hard for their dreams, they had bigger smiles and more hugs to share then any other kid i ever met.
So on days where the weather make me wonder what and why, i think back on my time there, the smiles from the kids born that way, laughing because they out run me in the wheelchair, or hugging me because i had a hard time rise up when i fell and needed help, they make me remember how blessed i am.
I have met so many wonderful people because of my disability and the need of training and help, and one of them is a young man and a young girl that blow my mind with their spirit. God took Jonathan Wentz to early, but in his young life he touched so many, and Sydney Collier, i don't know if i ever seen anyone smile as she does, knowing what she has been through, is going through and will have to go through. For an older woman like me, she has become an inspiration, so who ever you are reading my blog, look at her page, Sydney's homepage cheer for her and keep her in your prayers, she sure is changing a lot of life's with her smiles. So i am of to get things done, ride some horses and enjoy what i have, life is good, life is precious and we don't know when it is over, so enjoy as much as you can, dream as much and you can and LIVE each minute on the way!!
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